S. Italy x Reader - Self-Inflicted Achromatic

Romano x Reader - Self-Inflicted Achromatic





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It was a day full of "before vacations" exams. Apart from it, the day was passing by just like any other. Lovino was sitting on a bench under a tree. He took a deep breath, then sighed. It was so annoying. He still held his exam, looking at it every once in a while.
Seconds later, a group could be seem exiting the World Academy building.

'There she was again. Happily talking to Kiku, Matthew, Eduard and Berwald. (Y/N) is always so gorgeous. (Y/N) is always so selfless for them, I wonder how I'm even her friend.' He thought, tilting his head.






I want to be someone like you
I want to be someone who feels very like "me"








You were majoring in (subject), and your friends, Kiku, Matthew, Eduard and Berwald, respectively in Robotic Engineering, Biology, Mathematics of Computation and Engineering. You and your friends were known as the equally quiet and nerdy group, though none of you really cared about it.
You had fun and that was what mattered. And you had your wonderful tsundere friend - Lovino - too, and you were happy by this. You firstly approached him because the sister of your friend from Economics - Vash Zwingli - thought he had a crush on you. You never knew if that was true, but after all your hard work to gain his friendship, you decided to put it aside - even though you came to really enjoy his company.



You chuckled at the statement of one of your friends, they were talking about the Alignments from D&D for absolutely no reason. As you guys walked through the campus park, you could hear some nasty comments about you and your friends - but mostly from you. You just shrugged and kept laughing at something Kiku said, you were on your way to the Academy's exit, when you saw Lovino.  You walked in his direction.








If I want to, I can just go and do it.
But then would that really be me?










"Sup, Lovi--no!" You knew he would cuss at you for calling him Lovi, so you completed your phrase. He looked up at you and nodded.  "Tell us, which alignment is yours?"




He would never tell you, but he actually admired you for being spontaneous and a free spirit - in a world like this. The way you just shrugged bad things off. He remembered even the one time you discussed with Matthias - Berwald's brother - for being mean to him. He admired how you always made your friends laugh and smile, the group that was so expressionless. He admired how you had the same effect with him, but sometimes his hard shell would kick in and he would shut you off the most painful way possible. And he didn't like those times.




"Uh, I don't know?" He just mumbled, trying his best to not sound like he was annoyed.




"Are you going home already?" You asked, while your friends talked about some games. "We could find a Alignment Test for you! It'd be so much fun!" You held a paper in front of his face. "See? I'm (Alignment)! We have to find out yours!"




He took a deep breath and looked at you straight in the eye. Something was different. You felt some sadness in his gaze, but you couldn't figure out what that meant. Probably  you were annoying him, again. You sighed.




"Okay, we're going home, see you later...!" You mumbled, patting Berwald's back as saying 'let's go guys', then waved back at Lovino, he just lifted his hand and you saw his focus going to the paper he had in hands.




Lovino stared at the paper. He failed at the last test miserably, and it was making him extremely mad - it was truth he didn't care about this test, but it was such a bad feeling. He lifted his eyes and saw Eduard patting your back in a caring way. He probably offended you without even realizing. He cupped his face in his hands and sighed again.





"I'm such a mess." He mumbled.










One child's-play dream
The way I am, someone like me is better off
Dead















Lovino was just alone now, he basically shooed you, and he was mad at it.



-------------------------------------------




"Stay positive?" You heard Matthew's voice from behind you.




Your group of friends was in your house, because you decided to play some games in your free time. It was Eduard's turn in the horror game you were all playing, Kiku was helping him, and Berwald was sitting near them.




"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" Matthew asked, again. "What are these?"




You held little strips of paper with phrases on it.




"It's a gift." You smiled and handed the 'stay positive' strip of paper to him. "A gift for you, I'm making one for everyone!"




Matthew smiled, and patted your back.




"You're a wonderful person, (Y/N)."




"Thanks... It's just... I want to show everyone that we have so much, and we don't always see it, so..." You blinked, trying to find a word that would fit. "It's a reminder!"




"I get it."




"Okay! I'll give the others these, I'll be back soon!" You said, walking in the others' direction.



"Kiku! Ber! Ed! Here, I have a gift for you guys!"




They paused the game and looked at you, you held each one of them their reminders and stood in the middle of the room, with an epic pose. They looked at the papers curiously. After they read your message, they smiled warmly.





"Thanks, (Y/N)!" They said, in unison, then you plopped down on the couch and claimed the game's turn.












Where someone like me being alive
Brings sadness to tens of thousands of people
And no one wants me:
I wish that's the kind of world it was.












---------


Same Time, Vargas' House






"Lovino?" Feliciano called, as soon as the two arrived home.





Feliciano held a confused expression on his face, Lovino was headed to his room, if his logic was correct. He would usually eat some pasta or something with tomato sauce, then surf the internet , and chat with someone occasionally - he saw Lovino talking with Bella and (Y/N). Then he would argue with Antonio, go for a walk and go to bed.




He also knew that Lovino had no idea that he knew all of his daily routine, but it didn't matter. He enjoyed watching his brother sometimes, and he knew he was just timid, in the end. Feliciano sighed, Lovino entered the house and closed himself in his room.




"What's wrong?" Antonio's appeared by Feliciano's side.




"I don't know..." He let out a 'vee' after that, but his expression was still worried.




"I wonder if something happened?" Francis stated, from the kitchen, he was obviously cooking something.





Antonio shrugged and Feliciano closed the door.





He and his brother started living with Antonio and Francis some time ago, when Julius - their grandfather - passed away. They used to live with Julius in another city, so they moved to their cousin's house,  which was when they entered college - Feliciano majoring in Art and Lovino in Architecture - and also when (Y/N) and Lovino met. It was no news that they were actually really popular in college - mainly between the girls - because of his looks and charms and whatnot. They were flirts after all.











If by just wiping me away
Hundreds of millions of people rejoiced
And no one held hatred for anything
Then I reject such a happy thing













Feliciano took a deep breath , his brother has made that for so many times before, it was his turn. He went upstairs and knocked the door in Lovino's room.




"Hey, Lovi! Do you want to--"



"Don't you dare come with the snowman thing again, fratello." He growled from inside the room. "I've had enough of that."



Feliciano stood there for a while, the sighed, his voice sounding a bit hurt.




"I just wanted to help." He shrugged. "But I'll leave you alone, either way, I'll be in the kitchen."




Lovino threw himself on his bed, he did it again. Third time in a row? And it all began with the stupid exam. He was feeling stupid, he had failed even you, even though generally he held his horses around you. He was sulking when his phone vibrated.




"Hello?" He asked quietly.



"Hey! Lovi--no! It's (Y/N)! I have a gift for you tomorrow, just so you know!"




"Okay, then..." He could hear your friends in the background yelling, and he could even recognize his voices.




'The other side, Berwald!' Yelled Eduard, Matthew gasped and Berwald let a small, almost inaudible girly scream out, you laughed and Kiku said 'It's my turn, Berwald-kun.'




"See you tomorrow?" You said, cheerfully.




"Yeah, see you."











Tomorrow, I'll still tread between reality and dreams
Just like that, I'd love to disappear
Where someone like me being alive
Doesn't even register for hundreds of millions of people
And no one wants me:
If that were the world, would that be okay?









'They were so happy. (Y/N) was so happy.' And he sighed himself to sleep. In the first floor, Feliciano passed his time worried. Antonio and Francis tried to get his brother out of his room, with no success.












-----------------







You walked cheerfully through the campus without your bodyguards - a.k.a. your friends. You had Lovino's strip of paper with positive message in your hands and were looking for him. You were already tired when you spotted his brother, Feliciano.




"Feliciano?" You asked, you talked with him sometimes, and he said you should call him Feli, but you were so used to his full name.




"Oh, (Y/N)! How are you?" He smiled warmly at you, and you felt some girls gaze on you - not the good ones.




"I'm fine! Thank you, what about you?" You smiled back.




"I'm fine, too! So, tell me, what are you doing in this part of the campus?"




"I was looking for Lovino."




"Ah, yes..." He seemed a bit distant, then snapped out back to reality. "Sorry, (Y/N)! I dozed off a bit!"




"It's okay!"




"I think he's in that secluded area near the exit." He hesitated a bit. "He has been acting strange lately, I wonder if you know why?"





"No idea."




"Okay then, have fun!" He smiled and walked away.




"Have fun? Okay..."




You ran to the place Feliciano mentioned and found Lovino there, he was definitely sulking, and you were starting to get worried. Your strips of paper just came in handy, wasn't it? You approached him and tapped his shoulder, he jumped out of surprise.





"(Y/N)?! What the f*ck?" He almost shouted. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"




You shyly tilted your head.




"Sorry!" You mumbled, then searched for the strip of paper, found it and held it to him. "Here, my gift! Hope you like it!"











Even if I were wiped away
That wouldn't change some hundred million people
If no one will resent me, then
The result's the same, a loss for me









You smiled shyly at him, while he looked at the paper, confused. While he was trying to figure out what was happening, the bell rang.





"I'll talk to you later, okay?" You mumbled. "Wait, shouldn't you be going to class too? We can go together if you want!"




"I'm skipping them today."




"Err... Okay... I'll... See you...!" You just ran away.






------------------------------




"Feliciano, we need to talk."



"Talk about what, (Y/N)?" He vee-d after his statement.



"I don't see him around anymore, what's happening?"



"I... Don't know..."



"You're his brother, Feliciano." You took a deep breath. "At least, why is he not attending classes anymore?"




Feliciano looked at the ground and you understood.










In the end, everyone collapses in the same manner
"My Self" made in others will crumble away
In the end, everyone separates the same way- But-











"What's your address?" You asked, a serious tone in your voice.




He blinked a few times.



"What?"



"Your. Address."



He wrote it on a paper and handed it to you. Then looked confused at you.



"Why?"



"I'm gonna discover what's up with your brother." You sighed. "That's all."



He seemed to think about something.



"Come see me in the front of the Academy's exit, I'll accompany you there."




You nodded at him and left for your (subject) classes.








----------------------------







"This is it!" He cheerfully exclaimed.



"Thank you, Feli. For bringing me here." You thanked him and stepped into the house.




It was a mix of messy and neat, but it was a really amazing house. When you entered the living room, and just stood there waiting for information - near the corridor where the stairs to the second floor were. A green eyed man appeared together with Feliciano.





"Oh, hello, you must be (Y/N)!" He kissed your cheek - you were used to this greeting, thanks to Lovino and Feliciano. "I'm Antonio, it's a pleasure to meet you! You're Lovi's friend, right?"




"Pleased to meet you too! Yes, I am." You hesitated. "I'm here to see if I can talk to him, he has been acting strange lately."





"I wish you luck, (Y/N)! His room is in the second floor, first door you see at the right!" Antonio smiled. "But it's kinda awkward to say that we were just going to the market."




"Our tomatoes supplies ended." Feliciano added.




"Oh, I get it. No tomatoes, no pasta. It's okay, I hope I'm not bothering you guys."




"Oh, no, you're not! You're indeed a splendid presence! Well, we'll be off!" Antonio said and exited the house with Feliciano, in the car was Francis, waiting for them, he waved at you, and then they closed the door. "I liked this girl!" Antonio whispered, but you could hear him clearly.




You shrugged and went upstairs. You found the said door and knocked.




"Go away, fratello."




"It's me, (Y/N)." You said, calmly.




"What the sh*t." You heard the surprised tone in his voice and chuckled. "What are you doing here?!"




"You've been skipping too many classes, haven't you?"




"Go lecture my brother."




"I'm not leaving this f*cking house, just so you know." Your tone was still calm.




"What's with the swearing?"




"Lovino much?"




You chuckled and leaned against the wall near the door.




"Come out already." You sighed. "You know, it's okay if you're ugly crying in there, I won't judge."









Just because I'm alive
Why do you smile so much?
If you smile like that










You heard him cuss at you and chuckled, then the door was opened abruptly. You smiled genuinely when you saw him, but then you noticed his puffed eyes and his messy hair. He just stood there, tired expression on his face.



"Lovino? What happened?" Your expression showed some disbelief.




He sighed and then sat on the ground. You followed and squatted on the ground, in front of him, with a expression that showed concern. He was staring blankly at the ground, and you started to worry even more. Was he so sad like that?




"Lovi--"




"What did you come here for?" His voice seemed strange, with sadness in it.




You hesitated for a while.




"I was worried about you." It was your turn to stare at the ground. "You didn't attend your classes and neither you brother knew what was happening. What is happening, Lovino?"




He looked at you, straight in the eye.




"Do you really want to know?" You nodded at his question, and he got up, entered his room, and came out of it with some papers.




He showed you his failed test, a picture of his grandfather together with him and his brother, plus Antonio, Francis, a boy that looked like Antonio, but with longer hair and a boy you didn't know, who had pointy canine teeth. In the back of it, it had names handwritten.











No matter how sad, how much I want to disappear-
If only all my reasons to say good-bye
Went away













"Julius, Antonio, Francis, Afonso, Vladmir, Lovino, Feliciano." You read aloud. "They're your family, right?"



Lovino nodded, and gulped. You felt the tears into his eyes that just weren't coming.



"Sometimes I miss him." He avoided your gaze. "My grandfather."




"He passed away?" He nodded again.




"And even now, I can't make them proud." He pointed at the failed test. "I always lived in brother's shadow, and I keep hurting the people I care for... Wouldn't it be better if I vanished...?"



You subtly stared at him, wide eyed. That sad? That tired? You took a deep breath and held his arms so he wouldn't get away from what you had to say.




"Lovino." You went for it. "You are a great person, you are perfect. You deserve love, you deserve attention, you deserve respect, you deserve so, so much more." As you thought, he tried to free himself from your tight grip, but failed, and you felt your eyes getting watery. "I love you so very, very much, so do other people! It's okay to mess up, it's okay to be wrong, it's okay to be upset, it's okay to cry! You are loved!"




You suddenly hugged him tight, not caring about his complains. A while later he hugged you back and you heard a quiet cry.



"(Y/N) --"




"Why you never say what your heart wants to?"




"Because... That's my protection."



"Come on, pour it on me, I'll listen to you." You mumbled. "I'll listen to all your worries."





He smiled genuinely at you, before telling you everything that worried him.







Even if I were wiped away
That wouldn't change some hundred million people
But there's something preventing me
And showing me that face, I can't bear to laugh about it.










The End.